Drew in India

I’ve seen some lifechanging things.  Things I didn’t know existed.  People going through awful things, fighting for pennies on the dollar of what I make.

I had no agenda for while I was in India.  I felt like I was aimless with no direction, I needed a break…needed something.  So I came here.  Hoping I’d find *something*.

I think I found it.

I had forgotten how to live. So close to having gone through Cancer.  How could that have happened?  How could I have LET that happen?  I slipped into old habits, I forgot to do what I did when I woke up every morning while going through chemo…I thanked everyone I knew for everything they did for me.  I thanked the greater powers that be.  I was alive.  I made it through the worst hell I could ever imagine.

And then I died.

- I treated people I love dearly, poorly.  A conversation last night with the person who means the most to me opened my eyes to that.

- I was “too busy” to do things I really cared about.  Emails upon emails asking me to help talk about and support a charity that I haven’t answered yet.

- I wasn’t “selfish” enough when I needed to be…in all the right ways.  I should have taken a vacation.  I should have relaxed and let myself re-energize.  But no, like an ass I pushed on, becoming increasingly ineffective in everything I did, and took care of myself physically and mentally less and less, thus irritating everyone around me more and more.  

I kept telling myself I had to “get back to where I was” before cancer.

You know what? I was pretty much a fucking dick before I had cancer, and I was on that path again afterwards.

And now I took a trip off the end of nowhere for no reason whatsoever.  I’m not gonna lie, this whole travel/adventure thing ain’t for me.  That’s ok.

I’m alive again.

My back has been in pain for about 3 weeks now.  It happens every so often.  I travel a lot/fly a lot, and don’t always sit at my desk the right way….and well, I don’t really exercise.  Yes, I know…I’ll work on that.

Being at home, I feel like I can always hop over to the hospital to get it checked on or see a Dr.  While here, I’m kind of worried about that, as I’ve been told some not so great stories about hospitals here.

It’s really starting to dampen my time here, I’m not all that mobile, can’t sit at a desk for a while, and I’m getting behind in my GOGII work and I don’t like it.  Maybe I’ll take a day or two and just lay flat on my back, but I don’t want to do that either, because well…I’ll be bored out of my mind.

Ok, I sound like a whiney baby, over and out.

I’m not good at trying new things.  I said it.

I need your help…

Ok folks, send me on a scavenger hunt.

Tell me what you want me to explore and show you while I’m here in India!

I have zero sense of what time it is.  My body says one thing, my eyes are telling me something else.  Today I’m in the office where I’ll be doing most of my work, the area is poorer than I saw on my first day.  Folks taking “showers” in buckets, cows roaming the streets, cars buzzing by honking for sport.

I’m not in Kansas anymore.

I’m confused as to the purpose I have here, and I’m sure anyone who has seen me walk around feel the same way.

I’m used to being different in the States, but different in the States is “cool”.  Different here is just…different.

People don’t have tattoos, they don’t wear bright blue and orange sneakers.  I feel like a big cartoon character.

I’m sure it’ll take time to settle in.  I’m really dehydrated by the flight.  The weather here isn’t so bad.  It’s hot.  In the 90’s I think, but there’s not a lot of humidity.  The sea of people everywhere is overwhelming, the smells are different and surprising, and I have zero idea of where I am in relation to what.

And I chose to come here.

More soon…

I’m not prepared, I’m not packed.  I’m not anything.  I’m going to miss my girlfriend, my friends, my family, and my dog Rocky.

I’m scheduled to come back February 1st.  I’m going to miss every major holiday.

What the hell am I doing?

I don’t know, honestly.  Sometimes life leads you down paths that don’t make sense.  If you don’t follow the path, it’ll never make sense.  Maybe I’ll prove to myself I can leave a comfort zone.  Maybe I’ll find some spiritual enlightenment.  Maybe I’ll learn to like Indian food.  Maybe I’ll hate the whole experience.

I have no idea.

And it kind of freaks me out. 

I’ve been on a week and a half long “drew is leaving the country” PR blitz for work, meeting with some very awesome people at some great and amazing publications in NYC.  I should be packing.  But I’m not.  I should be learning as much as I can, and I’m not.  I should know who is picking me up at the airport, but I don’t.

And somehow I think I’ll be ok.

What should I pack?  Good thing my travel buddy who’s already there (Ryan) sent me a list.

Coffee and a French Press if you want coffee

Twinkees 

Candy

Gum

Good soaps and shampoos if you want

Flip Flops, Tennis Shoes, Dress Shoes

Boxers

Nice clothes for going to swanky parties (sport jacket)

Shorts to work out with (Just signed up for the gym) 

They have PB, but you can bring your own

Bandaids

Neosporin

Advil  

Anything else that will remind you of home

Don’t need any guidebooks…I’ve got us covered

*This is what Preeti said to bring.

I truthfully brought like 5 sets of clothes, some mosiquito shit, some workout stuff, and the basic toiletries. Nothing much else. It’s really not that bad and I’ll have friends coming over so they can bring anything we need. 

Get over here!

Um.
Thanks for the insight Ryan.

:)